I don’t have a lot of hair.  Let me unpack that:

I started losing my hair fairly early in life, sometime between 16 and 18.  Going bald at said early age wasn’t great, mostly because kids in that age group have nothing better to do with their time than be douchebags, but even so it was never a big deal for me.  It still isn’t.  I haven’t had much going on up top for quite a while, and at this point I figure it’s just one less thing I’ll have to deal with during my mid-life crisis.   I’ve considered going all “Scorched Earth” and shaving it down to the skin, like my cousin (who is similarly hair challenged) does, but it seems like keeping it shaved down is more work than I want to put into my cranium.  So, my typical haircut is to buzz it down to about 1/4″ and let it slowly recover from that insult for the next few months.

However, the hair that I have left has an annoying property: it’s got a slight curl to it.   This means that when it eventually gets to a point where it doesn’t grow any longer (roughly 2-3 inches), my hair starts to do something irritating.  Instead of growing, it gets progressively more unkempt looking.  This didn’t used to be much of an issue, since getting a haircut was as easy as asking my father to fire up the clippers and later asking my wife to do the same (as a cheap bastard, it feels like a rip off to pay somebody $12 to shave my head down with a pair of clippers).  Now I have a toddler who loves to help, especially when it involves things that make noise, so getting a quick buzz is something that’s harder to do.  I go much longer between haircuts now, which gives my hair plenty of time to make me look like a disused wino.  Add a 5 o’clock shadow and I’ve got that wonderful crazed look that have women pulling their kids off the street as I stroll to the corner market.

I mention all this because I’m at that point where shaving down my hair is getting to be a pretty big priority.  I’m either going to have to break down and pay the money to get the cut, or risk having a toddler scream at us for an hour because we wouldn’t let him play with the clippers.  A plethora of excellent options.

-Confusion is a state of mind, or is it?