Now that the TacoMa’am and myself have a toddler fast approaching the age of 2, I thought I’d look back at all the bad information I was given by other people, many of them parents, before Tron was born.

1) Babies can sleep through anything!

Really?  I’ve actually never experienced this.  Tron is about the lightest sleeper I’ve ever known, and always has been.  A hushed voice on the other side of the house was enough to wake him during his first year.  His toddler days have been a bit better, both because he sleeps more regularly and because we have a fan on in his room that drowns out whatever sounds he might otherwise hear.  Maybe some babies sleep through anything, but Tron has always had the nickname “Owl Ears”.  That boy could be woken up by a sneeze in the neighbor’s house.

2) Babies sleep a lot!

For the first 6 months it was amazing if Tron slept more than 6-8 hours in any 24 hour period.  He didn’t start sleeping well until he was about 13 months old and we finally got him into a schedule of 10-12 hours of sleep at night and MAYBE 1 nap during the day.  I think, in our case, Tron has always been a little too curious/alert/active.  He never wanted to sleep because he might miss something.  This was frustrating for everyone during the period before he could actually move around on his own; not only did he not want to sleep, but he also wanted to explore… which really meant that he wanted his parents to walk him around so he could look at various things.

3) Breast milk will be enough!

Tron was a ravenous baby.  He could empty two breasts and still be hungry enough to toss up a screaming fit that would rattle the windows.  He had to be supplemented with formula from day 1 just because of the volume of food he would eat.  In a sitting the kid could take down between 8 and 12 ounces of liquid and he’d eat every 3 hours.  If you, as a woman, can produce that much milk, then my hat is off to you.

4) Conversion to formula will be hard!

Nope.  Tron was an equal opportunity eater.  In fact sometimes he preferred the formula over the breast milk.

5) You can’t spoil a baby!

Riiiiiiiiiggggggghhhhhhht.  We had one spoiled little baby who turned into a spoiled big toddler.

6) If you use a nook, you’ll have a terrible time getting your child to stop using it!

Tron used the nook for maybe, maybe 2 months.  After he realized that he wasn’t getting any food from the nook, he completely lost interest.  He weened himself off it without any help from us; which was not necessarily a good thing.

7) Diaper Genies stop the smell!

No, they don’t.  Rather they act like an odor amplification and enrichment chamber outfitted with a slow release valve.  They certainly reduce the smell to an acceptable background level; but it’s not a complete elimination of the smell.

  8) Baby poop doesn’t smell for the first couple of weeks after birth!

If by several weeks, you mean 2 days.

 9) Babies are generally content to just hang out!

Tron constantly wanted, and usually recieved, “rides” from his parents.  It was an oddity for him to spend more than 20-30 minutes hanging out and playing quietly.  You couldn’t really actively play with him either, because all he actually wanted was to be picked up and walked around so he could look at (and try to grab) stuff.  He wanted this constantly, and if you didn’t spend hours and hours walking him around, he would scream at the top of his lungs until he would recieve one of these rides.  That was the only thing that he really ever liked to do, other than eat.  He didn’t really start playing with toys until after he could crawl and chase after the more mobile toys.

10) Young children are scared of the shower!

This is a Tron specific one, really, as I personally remember being scared of the shower as a small child.  Tron, on the other hand, hates baths, even with a parent around.  However, he’s perfectly content to take a shower with one of his parents.  Weird kid.

All and all it’s really a case of there being no cookie cutter parenting solution, despite what the huge market of parenting aids would have you believe.  What will work splendidly for one child may not work at all for another.  What is typical of some babies will be atypical of another set.  My co-worker’s baby, who is now a month old, sleeps 15-16 hours a day.  I told him, in no uncertain terms, that he needs to appreciate a baby who sleeps that much.

-Confusiont is a state of mind, or is it?

NOTE: I purposefully omitted many of the more politically motivated lies I was told as a parent, both because this is not a political blog, and because I was more aiming at the “little” lies that are more due to Tron not being the “typical” baby than they are out of any particular desire of my parenting sources to be untruthful.