Here’s a short blurb of a “fan” fic I wrote on a YSaC post last year. I had an opportunity to mock both Harry Potter and Twilight, so I did so.

Harry Potter and the Living Caretaker, the Twilight Years

Excerpt:

Bella looked across the table, longing yet pensively anxious in the feelings that, while confusing and contradictory, were strong nonetheless. Her heart skipped several beats, starting a cascade of rhythm that lead to a small, heart style percussion solo in her chest. She licked her lips and tasted the strawberry lip gloss she had applied only moments before; it was the kind with the flavored glitter in it. Though she didn’t know how they made the glitter so flavorful, she liked it anyway. She leaned across the table towards the dark haired youth sitting across from her and uttered, “Harry, I think I love you. You’re the coolest vampire at the school now.”

“I’m not a freaking vampire, how many times do I have to tell you idiots that? I may be moody, self-effacing in my relationships with others, and wracked with simultaneous feelings of entitlement and despair, but I DO NOT SPARKLE!”

“Oh,” Bella said, losing interest, “And I thought you were cool.”

-Confusion is a state of mind, or is it?

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